Far From Finished "Living in the Fallout"

Far From Finished "Living in the Fallout" CD/LP (2007) Think Fast Records/People Like You Records.

DISASTER

Woke up this morning in front of the ‘ol corner store
And every time I put myself down I keep on coming back for more
Now the bells of the church are tolling for another deserving saint
While I’m strolling the streets with no place to go
But I ‘aint asking for anybodies thanks

I’m a fucked up boy in a fucked up world
You’re never gonna see your life trough my eyes
And I’ll never know my reflection in their mirrors of misdirection
Washing away in a see of fucking lies

I ‘aint a fucking saint
Ya think I’m a bum
In a world that fucking rejects you, they think they’ve already won
Now they kick you to the curb like you’re some politician’s bastard son
Now everyone’s complaining ‘bout the things I already know
But what I wanna know are your ears bleeding from the sounds that are coming
From the radio

I’m a fuckin’ disaster…

PLAGUE

I feel kind of weakness
It’s a kind of mental sickness
Caused by caffeine and cigarettes
Aggravation from the shit I regret

I’m wasting away
But I can’t help but laugh at my own decay
Rot away from within
But the feeling’s so intoxicating

Think I lost my voice of reason
Guess I learned my last lesson
I hear something like a whisper
But all I see is my own murder

Struggle with mental compensation
I’ve got my own reservations
Don’t come too close there’s nothing I trust
The words have all faded my brains gone to dust

I’m wasting away
But I can’t help but laugh at my own decay
Rot away from within
But the feeling’s so intoxicating

I’m running out of time (it’s a plague that lives within my mind)
I’m running out of time (it’s a plague that lives within my mind)
I’m running out of time (it’s a plague that lives within my mind)

ROSES AND RAZORBLADES

Standing at the bus stop and heading on over the bridge
I was listening to the sounds of sirens coming over the hill
Running down the sidewalk looking at the cracks in the streets
Staring at expressions on the faces I'll never meet

Now I’m standing on the docks watching the waves as the city sleeps
I’m wondering how something so beautiful can cut so fuckin’ deep

And it's like roses and razor blades
There are scars in this world that are never gonna fade away

Here in lies my confession
It's a root of all of my aggression
See I'm a bitter motherfucker ‘cause I’m four steps back fall steps back
Hit the bottle and I'll never look back
But I ‘aint gonna give up, no I ’aint done yet

Now my only motivations are others expectations
What kind of punk would I be if I took shit for being me

And it's like roses and razor blades
There are scars in this world that are never gonna fade away
And it's these moments that make us realize
Maybe life ‘aint so fucking bad
Better be grateful for what you have

It's gonna be tough
We’ve got lost lives and broken hearts
We’re outcasts looking for angels
We find more comfort in strangers
And every time I look into my own eyes another little piece of me dies
We’ll never know what's keeping us alive

THE IMPOSTER

Walk away from all your anger
Come away from all your sorrow
Turn your back on all your pity filled embraces
It’s a hard road to cross
When you’re lost somewhere between jealousy and lust
Where were ya when the lights went out
Were ya caught up in all of your own doubts

Are you laying down tonight
Have you crossed your arms
Not on’ it for the fight
You don’t believe in anything anymore

Why don’t you run for cover when the rain starts falling
Why don’t you answer when you hear them calling
Why can’t you cry when you start falling
Why won’t you recognize when a good things calling

If I was ever happy I might of just been pretending
Well I burned that bridge a long time ago
And I was never one for mending
Can’t bare the risky distractions
Caused by the idiot attraction
I’m so damn tired I think I missed out on all the action
There’s nothing left of me
I was all that I could be
Turned around and the door was shut

Fight your jealousy with spite and frustration
When you’re a worthless fuck with too many expectations
When you build a life on pity then you call yourself a fighter
You’re pointing fingers at everyone else when you’re the imposter

Ya think it’s all right
Ya think everything’s ok
Well check again son
I’m running scared now
Straight back to hand shakin’
Back to heart breakin’
We’re building souls where they’ve been taken
Ya think I’m all right
Ya think that I’m ok
I’m headed down now
And it’s the wrong way
But I still have soul behind my guts
Could never trust a world that never gave a fuck

WATCH YOUR BACK

Two smoking guns in the darkest night (Your Judgement)
A figure emerges in the pale moon light (Revenge)
Your justice has been served by a faceless vigilante
He’s picking off gangsters thugs and junkies

Your hear footsteps behind you and your blood runs cold
They’ll find ya face down in a dumpster
Your body three days old

Watch your back – don’t go out at night
cause you may never come back
Watch you back – where ya gonna be when the wicked are attacked
Where’s your salvation boy there ‘aint no turning back

Mutilation’s running rampant in the streets (In The Streets)
Nightfall’s bringing judgment to everyone he meets (Revenge)
You’re on your back you’re looking straight up to the sky
There’s no where to run boy and there ‘aint no where to hide

BROKEN

Looking through broken window panes
For something that’ll numb the pain
And it’s something to help you forget
Bottles can serenade and newborn lives can turn a page
But there’s always better way

Now it’s been two years of all hard luck
You’re getting used to being in a rut
And your heads all fucked
And you’re a little stranger

Does it keep you running for the razors

Today – you’ve lost every shred of innocent
It’s time to come to grips again
Wake up – are you waiting for someone to pick you off the floor
The answers always right in front of you
You know exactly what to do
Where are you running to

You walls are crumbling around you
Wishing something could hide you
From everyone of your regrets
But now it’s too late
You’ve got that kind of hate
And it’s all for yourself

Now put that bottle to your head
Ya pull the trigger and now you’re dead
Was it everything you thought it would be

What are you looking for
You want it to hurt just a little bit more
It’s contradictions and misconceptions
A circle of lies it’s a fucking infection
Leading you around and make you always want more
‘Till another one of out friends has been checked into the morgue

Today – where’s it gone now…

WANNA BE A CATASTROPHE

You wanna be a catastrophe
You wanna see things that nobody wants to see
Daddies little public enemy
We know the score…

You wanna scare us with the things you wear
Show everybody that you just don’t care
You’re real wild with those colors in your
I bet ya…

Go in your room and turn all the lights out
Feel ashamed and cry your eyes out
Read every page of your Bukowski
Poppin’ pills like they’re fuckin’ candy

Now you’re with that new guy
Expensive slacks and fancy ties
Turn the corner and don’t look back
Keep pulling your bullshit life from the discount rack

Now tell us how you’re all fucked up
The enemy must be down on her luck
But now who really gives a fuck
She’s gonna…

Tell everybody how she’s so much better
Let us know how she pulled it all together
Never letting those hands back in her sweater again…
Again…

You wanna be a catastrophe
You wanna see things that nobody wants to see
Daddies little public enemy
You fucking CUNT

A NEW TUNE

Hallucination it’s compensation
Read between the lines it’s a privacy invasion
Hesitation and frustration
Quit asking how I feel about it
I don’t wanna talk about it

Why is the little boy setting fires
While his daddies looking for the buyers
Another sentiment they pulled out with pliers
He hears the screaming you pack of fucking liars
My mommy told me I’m her biggest mistake
I caused her addictions that she never could shake
But any emotion you could fake if you look the other way
And the shame you can take it (Fuck It)

I don’t wanna see (don’t wanna see what they want me to see)
And I don’t wanna be (don’t wanna be what they want me to be)

Sculpt the fragile mind of the lunatic
Feed ‘em something till it makes them sick
But it’s the little things that make you tick
You’re a sick fucking freak and it a power type of fix

So build ‘em up and then tear ‘em back down
Let ‘em know that he’s the sharpest kid around
Now something bitter swear rots your teeth
You hollowed ‘em out and now there’s nothing underneath

JUST US KIDS (NOVEMBER)

Bringing flowers to the graveyard ‘aint no fun
When you’re there to see the one’s ya love
Another friend is there then gone
All the friends we try to save
We watch the grass grow around their graves
Whatever happened to all our better days

Another casket rolls down the isle
Another fathers in denial
While we smoke butts and talk about the times when we were normal
Shuffle through the photographs the empty Pabst
The shit that was all left behind in the back of our minds

Can Billy come out and play
I’m sorry but he’s gone away
He won’t be coming ‘round here anymore
This sucks I’m all alone
My friend’s box of fuckin’ bones
Just us kids who watched him fade away
And now were’ sayin’…

What ever happened to all of our better days
When we thought life was just beginning to go our way
What ever happened to all of our better days
When we never had to turn and run away
And now we’re saying…

And when your sister cried her eyes out at the alter
I couldn’t help but wonder if you were looking down upon her
And we all wished that we had never woke up today
It’s just us kids standing together
Pretending you can hear us when we say

Miss Deborah Miller…

Our babies are dying
And mothers are crying
And their blood flows like a river

She said goodbye to her son
Who didn’t make it past twenty-one
Why did he have to carry the gun

HEROES AND GHOSTS

Holidays spend in the institution
Remember the time when your mind was raped
Where is the restitution for everything they take
Seeing life through a looking glass
Buried in the sand so you can’t escape
A generation forced to hate
The feeling they have to fake

Look away you don’t wanna see this
This ‘aint no fucking dream
It happens everyday and we hear them say

One more time scream it from the rafters
Get out of my life get out of my head
Programming tomorrows little officers
One dose at a time ‘till they’re bred
One more time can you make it shatter
Get out of my life get out of my head
We know exactly what they’re after
And if we were all gone tomorrow would they ever even know
When kids start trading their heroes for ghosts

We can’t handle you anymore
It’s all your fault no you’ll have to pay
With the rest of your life never knowing emotions
Never knowing the words to say
You’re somebody’s problem now
Good luck it might turn out ok
So little by little and dose by dose
They’re taking you away

Regrets and falsehoods
Telling me you ‘aint no good
It’s time to fight them back
Start living life for you

1849

Welcome to California son
This is where men are made
Grab yourself a pick and a shovel
If you’ve got the will
We’ve got the way

In eighteen forty-nine you saw the gold with your own two eyes
You scavenge for something that shines like the son
You ravage through dirt and the greed and the blood
You came for the metals now you’re remembered in stone
You can’t see the sun is going down on you

You’re a crook you’re a gambler it’s all for their sake
You lost it all you gave them all they could take
Don’t know where you are you don’t know where you’ve been
It’s a race ‘till your death that you’ll never win
It’s a place and a time you’re bought and sold
You’ll see that you’re not worth your weight in gold

Is this your better way
You watch the California sun go sinking down into the bay
Is this your better way
You watch the California sun steal all your dreams away

The saloons and the gambling the whore house hotels
They’re lit up all night by their own private hells
Now a broken man so far from his home
It now comes to this he stands drunk and alone
Without a dime to your name or one ounce of fame
It’s time to die now who do you blame

TWENTY ONE GUNS

Jamie’s going off to war tomorrow
Trading in his shovel for a big old gun
Time to stand up time to be a man
Putting the trigger in his right hand
But she needs you now she can’t do it herself
Forced to put her dreams and her future on the shelf
Think of your wife your child on the way
She don’t wanna be a widow at his young age

We hear the sounds of bombs dropping
It’s ringing in our ears and we can feel it when you’re falling down

Twenty-one guns fired in the middle of the night
Twenty-one guns were blazing in the thick of the fight
Twenty-one guns one shot for every year of his life
Reaching for the courage to pull you through
But your back’s up against the sharp edge of the knife

We’re hanging ribbons of gold on the trees in the yard
And your thoughts are with us no matter how far you are
We’re always here with you
And it kills us inside knowing there’s nothing we can do
Bad news strikes the girls left alone
Left to raise her child and fend for her own
Another family that’s torn by war
Another soldier’s face down in the dirt

LIVING IN THE FALLOUT

Save me I’m hearing voices again
Something is changing
Hurt me I’ve got the worst of intentions
I deserve everything you give me

I can’t see me lasting long here
Say my goodbyes and I’m on my way
A fallout nightmare I don’t wanna wake from
‘Cause there’s no difference between here and there

Protect me from myself
I’m falling slowly and waiting for misery
Kill me and this agony
Living in the fallout

Break me down to what you need
Then leave me behind it all
Show me something that I can do
To keep me from going down again

I can’t see me lasting long here
Say my goodbyes and I’m on my way
A fallout nightmare I don’t wanna wake from
‘Cause there’s no difference between here and there

Drag me through the shit again
And remind me of what I am
Hate me and what I’ve become
And pray you don’t end up like me